Sexual Abuse Information

How many people have suffered sexual abuse as children?

It is estimated that between 20 – 40 percent of women and 2 – 9 percent of boys are sexually abused by the age of 18. These are conservative estimates since many people never tell.

What is child sexual abuse?

Child sexual abuse is any sexual behavior directed toward a child who has power over that child, and uses this power for self-gratification. It is very different from normal sexual curiosity. It can include things such as masturbation, intercourse, fondling, oral sex, and anal or vaginal penetration with objects. Other forms of sexual abuse that don’t involve physical contact are exhibitionism, leering, and suggestiveness.

Who are the abusers?

Almost always perpetrators are someone the victim knows well; someone they love and trust (think teachers, neighbors, coaches, pastors, and relatives). That’s why it is so confusing and so damaging. Often some things that the abuser offers may seem good (touch, feelings of specialness, gifts, attention, etc). The parts that seem good leave the victim feeling as if she/he asked for, deserved, or wanted it. Therefore, she/he is filled with shame, so she keeps the secret quiet. This is exactly how the perpetrator grooms his/her victim. Also, if there is one victim, there are usually many many more! Most perpetrators don't stop, they just get sneakier.

What are the effects of sexual abuse?

Feelings of worthlessness and shame
Sense of perfectionism
Not knowing how you feel
Feeling crazy
Substance abuse
Not feeling present in your body
Feeling as if you are not part of your body
Restricted range of emotions
Having a hard time loving yourself/accepting your body
Self injury or suicidal feelings
Finding it difficult to trust others
Wanting to trust others, but fearful of emotional intimacy
Difficulty making commitments
Expecting people to leave you
Using sex as “medicine” (using sex to get other needs met)
Avoiding sex in committed loving relationships
Staying present during lovemaking in committed love relationships
Flashbacks during sex
If you have experienced sexual abuse and suffer some of these symptoms, you can heal. It is important to find a therapist who specializes and understands the dynamics of sexual abuse.